Growing up I was always the kid who had to work to be good at things. I have to be honest, I was never a natural at anything, even acting. I could memorize anything but acting took work. I was comfortable in front of the camera but I had a ton of training! I was often told I was a natural but honestly know one knew the work and study I put into it! I made it look easy only because I was disciplined and put in the effort to make it look natural.
I was never an athlete, honestly I never had the coordination. I was a cheerleader but honestly I worked my butt off to memorize routines and even then I made mistakes. School was also hard, but I can tell you this, no one studied harder or put in more hours. When I graduated high school I had more banked hours than anyone my studio teacher had ever taught! (The law requires at least 3 hours of school a day when you are on set, anything over you could bank for the days our work load on set did not allow us to get our 3 hours, I had 100’s of banked hours! Ps I needed every one to stay current with my college preparatory high school!)
Acting and being on set was certainly where I felt most comfortable, but that didn’t mean I didn’t work hard at always being prepared, always being on time (if not a half an hour early), always being gracious and kind, and always being grateful for the opportunity! I was on 7th Heaven for all 11 years, I was in every single episode! That’s because I am immensely loyal, and was so grateful to Brenda Hampton for choosing me to play the best role of my life, Lucy, the quirky, lovable, highly emotional, slightly naive, family centered character. I was honored and still am for her to trust me as her beloved Lucy.
That brings me to this, all my life I had to work hard to be good, to be enough and even then I tended to feel like I always came up short. But there is one thing I know I am good at, ok make that two, I know I am a great wife and great mother. I believe this because I make them my priority. Being a wife and mother come first. I still love my work but my focus is not career but what is best for my family. Some may disagree with my approach and that is completely fine but I know for me, at the end of the day the only thing that matters is my husband and my children. It is the one place in my life that feels natural, that I don’t try to be anything, I just am. I am by no means the perfect wife or mother, I don’t even know if that exists but it is the one time in my life that I don’t second guess myself. I think that is because it’s the one time I know that I am giving them my all and because of that, that is enough! My husband knows that I love him beyond words, that he is my everything and my children know that mommy loves them to ends of the universe. They don’t question my love or their place in my heart. This is what I was put on this earth to be, a wife and mother!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not giving up acting, I love it too much! I’m just saying it nice to find a place in your life when you don’t feel your coming up short and you can say, I got this! My family is what that is for me!